Have you been studying abroad or worked abroad and fell in love? But then you return home and there is a huge geographical distance between you – and then it can be really hard not to move emotionally away from each other.
True, now you don’t have to shave your legs every day or keep your room tidy, but for that to be a long-term love story (even if you’re so far apart), it takes a lot of determination, optimism and effort.
However, nothing is impossible and thanks to the following tips, your relationship can flourish nicely – no matter how many hundreds or thousands of kilometers there are currently between you.
Even a little effort can mean a lot in this case.
What is a long distance relationship?
Distance. Separation. Communication via skype, phone, Facebook.
Communication through words and through some technology. Absence of closeness. Relationship based on words.
This would only briefly define the relationship at a distance. A long-distance relationship requires a huge, really huge trust and, above all, two strong and confident personalities who do not carry with them the crazy pains from previous relationships.
Jealousy is a direct killer of distance relationships and low self-esteem as well.
How long can such a form of relationship last?
A long-distance relationship can last when there is an imaginary end to such a long-distance relationship.
For example, working abroad for half a year.
You can set the rules, you can grasp and understand why.
But trouble often comes when a woman is from one city, a man from another, and neither wants to leave their home and their job.
Love has come, but neither is willing to take that step.
Then the relationship is often about weekend meetings.
So again, it depends on how we build it and how we mainly define the concept of relationship.
There are big differences.
But I am convinced that if the relationship is not given enough attention, it will die, even if in the beginning love was like a fairytale.
Is there any advantage of long distance relationship?
I think the strength of the relationship can really be seen here.
It is a test that shows the positives and negatives and, most importantly, reveals two personalities, reveals the truth of who we really are.
I think that relationships that have gone through a long-distance relationship, and yet are together, have a great chance of having a harmonious relationship that will last and overcome many things.
11 Tips for long distance relationships
1. Find out when it is best for you to communicate with each other (regularly)
While you can send messages and emails 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, sometimes you just need to talk to each other directly and have immediate feedback.
It may take a while to find the best time to chat (it also depends on how many time zones separate you), but even that will give in.
And no, it doesn’t matter if you can only call on Sunday morning – the most important thing is that you make time for each other.
2. Find the most suitable communication channel
You are already clear about time, now you still need to find the ideal communication channel.
Fortunately for us, contact with the world has never been easier and cheaper than today – a good Wi-Fi connection is usually enough to skype, chatting and send various text messages.
However, the main way of communication should definitely be easily accessible to both of you.
But also keep in mind that using a variety of channels can make communication much more varied and fun.
3. Be creative
Record an audio message at night, write a letter or postcard, you can also send the other a package or a recording.
Use your imagination and try new, unique ways to show your counterpart that you think of them.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you have to whitewash your bank account – before you decide to rent a plane that will write poems in the sky, why not take a sticky note with you on your next visit and place a short message for fun in hidden places, which the other will gradually find when you are no longer there?
4. Do not avoid conflicts
If you only see each other every few weeks or months, and maybe even speak another language, it is very easy to postpone the problems or things that worry you.
Of course – who would want to spend time arguing when you’re only wearing 48 hours of that.
However, avoiding conflicts and disputes can damage your relationship in the long run.
The more you talk about the things that bother you (before they grow to huge proportions and become real obstacles in your relationship), the better.
But never argue via text messages or e-mails (one then tends to read more between the lines than the author put in there) – if there is a problem, try to discuss it in person or by phone as soon as possible. And when I say that…
5. Always say everything
Always try to say openly and honestly how you feel at the moment. I
f you don’t know where the other person is right now or who he spent Saturday night with, it may start to bother you or you will panic unnecessarily.
And the fact that social media makes it so easy today to see (or imagine) how well someone is having fun doesn’t make it twice as easy.
It is important to trust each other enough to share your thoughts and feelings and find a way to deal with jealousy, worries or doubts.
6. Be positive
Living your life as you used to be in a relationship with someone who is so far away from you can be a blessing and a curse: you may feel like you’re losing something because it’s harder for you to do things that partners “do normally” – need to pick up the other person from work or go to lunch together.
On the other hand, it can also be a great advantage, because it gives you much more time to do “your own thing” – especially if you are busy or have a lot of work, you will save your dear half the disappointment resulting from the sudden cancellation of a planned dinner or cinema visits (because you just won’t make it today).
7. Do boring things together
If you only see each other a few times a year, everything may seem like a vacation.
Damn, it’s probably a vacation, because you’ll probably need all the time off work or all the holidays.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with not picking it up right away, and maybe you can sleep in the morning, then go brunch together and go sightseeing, but you also have to do some less fun duties – you know that: folding laundry, handling different things around the city or mowing the lawn.
After all, a real relationship is best known in such routine situations and in how much you can enjoy such moments together.
8. You should know when you will see each other again
It depends on how much time and money it costs you to meet – it can also be quite a complex operation requiring longer preparation.
But if you don’t know when you’ll see each other again for a long time, it will bring you conflicting feelings and decide your overall life plans.
Therefore, it is best to set a date for the next meeting as soon as you return home.
Thanks to this, you can plan things in advance and also take advantage of advantageous tickets / tickets booked in advance and various special events and discounts.
And we’re not even talking about having something to look forward to right away! (Of course, unexpected visits are also great, so if you can, be sure to include them in your program someday.)
9. Do things together
Even if you’re not in the same place at the same time, you can still do a lot together (plus we have all those video calling programs!).
Today, you really have nothing to make excuses – you can easily share with someone across the screen how you are cooking, eating, shopping, you can even go for a walk together via video chat!
And don’t forget that you can also watch the same movie at the same time and talk or chat at the same time.
10. Keep something that will remind you of the other
But sometimes no call or text message can make up for the fact that the other one isn’t with you right now.
What can help is to wear his / her favorite t-shirt or have coffee in his / her favorite cup.
Yes, these items that remind you of the other are sometimes a bit kitsch, but they will certainly fulfill their purpose.
For example, a small sample of your favorite perfume or washing powder can literally erase time zones for a while.
So if you just desperately need to be close to your better self for a while, be sure not to be ashamed of something like that.
11. Meet people and visit places from each other’s lives
The more you talk and get to know each other, the more often you are likely to come across places or people that the other person will not know.
Whenever the opportunity arises, introduce him / her (whether through a photo or live) to the places you go to a lot and to the people you spend time with or frequently mention.
As a result, your regular conversations will make more sense to both of you, and you will feel that you are more part of each other’s lives, despite the distance that separates you.