You munch a handkerchief in your hand, you watch a romantic movie through teary eyes. Remorse, self-pity and the question of why it didn’t work out (again) is running through your head. Even if you’re not ok right now, don’t drown in grief and use the breakup to your advantage.
Every break-up in which you have placed your hopes is painful. After a collision with reality, all that is left is eyes to cry, a heart pierced like a colander, and a mind programmed in one direction: endlessly dissecting what was wrong and what could be done better. Now it makes no sense to think about what if. You won’t change what happened.
The grief of separation, grief over an unjust fate and was over a new blow without a loved one cannot be shaken off in one day.
Take your time. If you feel you can’t do it anyway, analyze, cry.
Not all days are over
No matter how much pain you experience now, know that nothing is lost.
Time can close the holes in your heart, allowing you to forget and deal with the breakup.
Then they will let you start again. After all, he was not the only one in the world. There are over 7.5 billion people on Earth, and your other half, the extremely compatible, are among them. Now you finally have a chance to find her.
But you don’t have to start searching right away. Treat yourself to a break just for yourself.
Don’t be afraid to be single for a while. Use the separation to your advantage and awaken your better self.
Take time for yourself
Don’t rush. Right now, you don’t have to submit to anyone or compromise. Take care of yourself, play, educate, enjoy. You deserve it. Here are six tips on how to move forward – a vibrant range of new possibilities is open to you.
Mourn
The loss of a loved one is always painful. However, the healing process itself also requires a period of mourning. Prepare to be met by various emotional stages from shock and denial to anger and sadness to desperate attempts to return. It is important to go through all the stages, because only then you can find your own self again.
Divorce always hurts, so don’t try to suppress grief. Ventilate feelings, don’t let them in you.
Accumulated and hidden pain could cause you problems in the future. Simply give in and set aside some time to mourn. Have some chocolate, order a pizza and be sad.
However, do not stay too long at this stage. Don’t regret it too much, don’t think about what was wrong, but try to accept the situation. Then focus on the future – what’s new? Will there be new love in it too?
Throw it on paper
It is not for nothing that it is said that paper can withstand everything.
Get rid of negative thoughts by writing. Write down everything your mind can think of. This essay is just for you.
Instead of a keyboard, reach for a pencil and paper.
And when you finish? Tear the paper, burn it, throw it away – and let the bad go with it. Finally, you have a place to feed positive thoughts.
Sometimes, even long after parting, you are bothered by things that have happened or events that you have not managed to solve.
You can’t discuss them with your ex, you don’t want to talk to your friends about it, so all you have to do is suffocate it all.
Pour a glass of wine (make you think better), take a pen in your hand, take a piece of paper and write, write and write.
Write everything down. Why you loved him, why you hate him and that you will never forgive him, how he treated you or what he did to you.
You can also take your confession as a letter to your ex.
Write him everything you didn’t have time to tell him, describe your current emotions. Feel free to scold him. Write anything that will relieve you. Then tear the letter into tiny pieces and let the past go with it.
Go out and have fun
Go to the company, have a drink or just visit your friends. Have fun, change the environment for a while and think of something else. If thoughts of him accompany you at every step, try to talk about them with a friend. Keep in mind that what was was.
Wash out negative emotions in the gym or shake them off to the rhythms of Latin American dances in zumba lessons. Go to the club and dance out all the anger and sadness. Go on a trip or hike.
Now is the right opportunity to start a sport or rediscover it. Please the soul with a dose of endorphins and improve your condition. You don’t have to train for the Olympic all-around, ordinary swimming or running will suffice for a fit body without frustration. Then go to the cinema or the theater with your friend in the evening.
Avoid Facebook with an arc
Sitting down at the computer doesn’t suit anyone – and you especially now.
Avoid viewing photos on your ex profile and thinking about how to report a breakup on your favorite social network. Go back to real life and let the internet float.
Social networks and public profiles make it possible to constantly monitor who is doing what. Definitely avoid this.
No matter how tempting you are to look at the profile of the ex and check what he’s doing, how he’s doing or if he’s worried, don’t do it. You may find that he have found a new partner and are enjoying yourself by the sea while you sit on the couch at home, crying and waiting for you to hear. After such a discovery, you will become even more entangled in self-pity.
Don’t go to social networks at all, or deactivate them for a while. You will see that you will breathe better.
Or as the saying goes, “The less I know, the better I sleep.” Break away from your past life and start living again.
Travel and learn
Buy a last-minute ticket and have an unforgettable weekend in France. Try the famous spa in Budapest, taste real Italian ice cream in Rome or fly to Berlin for currywurst – a German fast food specialty.
When you start from the beginning, you can take it from the ground up. Is there something you put off because there was no time for that? Now you have the opportunity to push the boundaries of your knowledge a little further. You can learn a new language or improve your French, which you have almost forgotten since high school.
Use free time for further studies – try to get a coveted university degree. Set the goal you want to achieve and meet it. It doesn’t have to be anything big. Now is the right time to do everything there was no time for before.
Pamper yourself
Louis Vuitton handbag or a new model from Chanel? It’s up to you and your account volume.
But be comforted that the mind refreshes even the new book – without drafts in the wallet and remorse in the head. Read a new thriller from a favorite author, or learn something new: you can look at books on personal development or various hobbies.
How much time does it take to overcome breakup?
A broken heart hurts, but over time it will surely heal and you will start looking for new love again.
The healing time can be individually long. The pain may go away in a few months, but it may last for several years. Don’t push yourself into a new relationship just because your neighborhood says it’s time to start again.
Some time spent alone improve your personal development. It gives you space to learn new things, organize your thoughts and life itself, and prepare for a new relationship.
Love cannot be timed – it may surprise you a few months after the breakup, or it may keep you waiting for a whole year.
Whatever you decide to do after the breakup, do it for yourself and for your new life.
No need to look back. Now you can be stronger than before. Not only will you gather new inspiration on your next journey, but you will also make new friends and maybe even love.
