Do you want your child to be independent? To be prepared to manage his life and bear the consequences of his decisions? In that case, we have some tips for you on how to lead your child to independence as naturally as possible.
1. There is no need to teach a child independence from infancy
One of the most harmful pieces of advice is that if a child at the appropriate age does not master the xy skill, it will drag him down with his whole life. If a preschool child can’t dress independently, he or she will certainly be unable to leave his or her mother’s arms and living at an advanced age. This is advice that parents just stress out. On the contrary, the more security you give your children in early childhood, the more independent they will end up.
2. Don’t orient yourself according to what “should”, do not succumb to ambient pressure
Just forget about the wisdom that the grandparents or parents of other children tend to need to constantly compare and show off.Until the child is mature, it only costs you a lot and a lot of effort, when the result does not even remotely correspond to the effort expended. And then it suddenly comes by itself, because every child is mature at a different age. How much stress you could have saved!
3. Understand what is a priority for you, and don’t deal with trivial things at all
The world will not fall apart if you help your child change in the kindergarten locker room, otherwise it would only cost you nerves and it would not help the child in his independence.
4. You can apply a little pressure to topics that you rate as important and that will help your child move on
Try to lightly throw things at your child, which can be a challenge for them. The challenge is just that: neither too demanding nor too easy. The goal is for the child to manage it, but with a (sometimes considerable) effort. Don’t be afraid to just try something more demanding, where the child will experience even slight discomfort. If he can overcome it, it will be a big leap forward for them and he will be properly proud of himself, which is one of the foundations of future self-confidence. Because he understands that if he really tries, he can do great things.
5. Do not push the child too hard into anything
If the child is not mature, a possible failure only throws him back a few stages, it can even make him unsure of what he already manages. Violent strengthening of a child is really not the best idea, although unfortunately it is often practiced.
6. Trust your intuition, it works best
You feel what your child can do. You know your child best.
7. Give the child space
In order for the child to be able to gradually build his independence, it is necessary to leave him a space that will be only his own. If you devote him your every free moment and develop him, there will not be many options left for his own initiative. The same problem is when you line up his life without giving him the opportunity to participate in any way. It is much better to provide the child with the greatest possible decision-making possibilities and then, of course, to respect his decision.
8. If the child is interested in trying something on their own, support it
Even if you are afraid (that he will cut himself, that he will fall, that he will ruin the bathroom,…), there is no place for your fear in such moments. On the contrary, the child should feel that you believe in him. It is important not to miss the right moment, because if you manage to discourage your child from the chosen activity due to your fear, it can take a really long time before he decides to do it again. However, if you manage your fears, you may be very surprised: if you give your children freedom, they will often do things that you would not say to them at all.
9. Teaching a child independence only works if you also teach him responsibilities
It is not possible without it, and the method of natural consequences is clearly the best method. It is also important not to overdo it with protection, not to protect the child at any cost from any failure.
10. And one last principle: do not forget about yourself in all the most possible educational approaches
Not everything is governed by the needs of the child, your needs are just as important. You too deserve respect.